Here are some tips on how not to let your emotions get the best of you:
1. Silence is Your Friend. Feeling the ripples of an anger outburst just beneath the surface? As much as possible, try not to speak. Practice silence, even for just a few minutes.
One common advice in anger management counselling is to count to ten before speaking. This already allows enough time for you to process thoughts rationally and can keep you from saying anything that you will most likely regret afterwards.
2. Just Breathe. Do not underestimate the power of deep breathing; it can have a wonderful calming effect on you. If you are feeling very angry, then you have to set your mind on persistently breathing deeply and steadily until you are feeling calmer. Just imagine that with every breath you exhale, you are already expelling the anger from your system.
3. Find Out the Causes of Anger. Anger can be caused by external and internal triggers. Usually, external triggers such as people, events, and circumstances, are inevitable but they are easier to deal with. They can easily be overcome; situations pass and conflicts with people can be resolved.
More often than not, it's the internal trigger that causes a bigger anger problem. Internal triggers are the messages your inner voice is whispering to you. These messages, or self-talk, are often the results of irrational assumptions, insecurities, and misinformation. To fight anger, you have to be able to recognize these triggers.
The best way to counteract these internal triggers is by replacing your self-talk with positive subliminal messages. Subliminal messages can replace the negative thoughts in your mind that often cause lasting anger with positive messages that change your perception of what's going on around you.
So instead of focusing on your anger, you can convince yourself that:
I am in control of my emotions.
I am bigger than my anger.
I see no reason to be angry.
I am releasing my anger.
I am able to stay calm at all times.
I am strong enough to conquer my feelings.
I always face all circumstances with grace and calmness.
4. Anger Management Therapy Begins Inside You. Keep in mind that nothing can make you angry unless you allow yourself to be angry. Why waste time being angry and hurting those around you when you can spend it being happy and appreciating your relationships with family, friends, and colleagues? Remember, you hold the power to choose and control your feelings, not the other way around.
5. Take a moment and picture problems faced by you because of anger. Picture yourself in a rocking chair reflecting back on your life. As you imagine yourself in the rocking chair reflecting back on your life think about the effect that anger had on it. Involve all five senses in this, the sharper you can imagine the bigger the impact it will have on you. As you sit there how do you feel about how you lead your life? Now do the same exercise looking back on your life with the anger and baggage removed. Now how do you feel about how you lead your life?
If you've done this exercise and emotionally involved yourself it should have really clarified your decision to fix this ugly emotion and bring more peace to your life. The next step is to get advice from someone who has helped thousands of people improve their lives by dumping this cancer we call anger.
6. Anger if not controlled leads to loss of job, friendship, relatives etc It's perfectly normal for you to get angry, just as long as you know how to control your anger. If you don't, your anger will get you into a great deal of trouble. If you are unable to control your anger in the workplace, you can lose your job. If you don't know how to control your anger in your relationships with others - with your family, with your friends or with your partner in life - as well as causing them much pain and grief, soon you will find yourself alone and isolated.
When you know how to control your anger, you are able to deal with it by means of conscious effort and by unconscious reactions that you have trained yourself to have. You are able to express assertively and forcibly but not aggressively the anger you feel. You can say plainly what your feelings are and what you require of others, without being hostile and demanding.
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